When I started the blog, I made a commitment to "recording the journey". Sharing what's going on. More than that, sometimes, it gives me a chance to process what's going on - or put a period on the end of a sentence that's been being written over a couple of days. There was lots going on, in my "world", in my "mind", and in my journey those first few days... so lots of posts. Every morning this week, I've sit down to write something new - but found there weren't things going on that were ready to put to words.
This morning, the same thing. Nothing to write about. And then it occurred to me - one of the most common states of being on this journey over the past couple of years has been - "today, there's nothing spectacular". I'm not sure how the spiritual journey unfolds for others, but for me it seems there are sometimes long stretches of nothing spectacular. Nothing earth-shattering (like knowing its time to apply for seminary). No epiphanies (like experiencing for the first time some new, deeper understanding of prayer, or God's love). No monumental tasks to complete. Some days are... just days. Just moments. Just living, and being. Trying, for better or worse, to 'be' what God is calling me to be today.
Though, I must confess... I've probably misled you a bit in the title of this post. Because, what I'm coming to find is that there's something absolutely spectacular about these days when "there's nothing spectacular". Something miraculous and amazing in the reality that it is these pedestrian moments, if we can call them that, that constitute the majority of our journeys into God's will for us. It must be that THESE lackluster moments have the power to grow us, change us, call us forward into God's plan of holiness for our lives. Otherwise, we wouldn't be given them as gifts for the journey so often.
The biggest battle I fight with myself sometimes is seeing and accepting these days for the grace that they are in and of themselves. My temptation is to take them, and begin to go searching for the earth-shattering, mind-bending, life-changing (drum-roll) TA-DA. But, if I've gone searching for it, I run the risk of falsely creating it when its not there. And that would be an exercise in seeking and finding something born of self. What I so desperately want to do is seek and find what is born of God, united in self. (Perhaps similar, but also different.)
Sometimes, as we seek to walk with God, as we strive to become a man after God's own heart, the days are just days. We wake. We live. We serve. We pray. We laugh/cry/work/play. We breathe. Who are we to believe there's anything less than spectacular about that?
So - anyway - nothing huge going on these last couple of days to write about. God's grace and movement in my life, all the same.
I've added a "links" section to the right of the blog where I've listed several seminarian blogs I've found in the last couple of weeks, and which I read regularly. My journey isn't the same as all the guys. I don't agree with all the guys. So my listing them here isn't really an endorsement of what they have to say. But we share one thing in common - we're walking the same kind of path. And their journeys inspire and comfort me.